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What are you scared of?

Posted by on in Amanda J Miller
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Has anyone ever asked you that question when you are fretting about having to do something?  I can recall many occasions when well meaning friends (and my Mother) ask me, in differing tones of voice.  Sometimes it can sound a little patronising, as if the question should be preceded by a pat on the head and "There, there..."  At other times it can sound more like a criticism.  This is especially true when you are stressed about something you can do quite well, and have done so in the past,  maybe many times. 

So how can you tell someone what it is you are scared of?  It's a feeling in the pit of your stomach (actually it is within your solar plexus) and your limbs and voice don't want to co-operate.  For me, one of my earliest (as in teenage) angst sessions was plucking up the courage to phone a boy that I fancied from school. This was in the days before mobile phones, when you had one phone in the house with a dial in the middle.  I had to wait until I was home alone. Then stared at the phone with butterflies in hob nail boots dancing in my stomach.  What was I going to say? What if his mum answered instead?  Or the worse case, the part I was truly afraid of, was the humiliation of rejection.  I planned a great opening line, taken from that weeks A level biology homework. "Hi, this is Amanda. I wanted to ask what you knew about spiny ant eaters?"

Well it was either that or two-ton polar bears - they can also break the ice, although they were not part of the 'temperature regulation of different animal species' homework. So what was it that I was scared of?  I knew the boy in question, had talked to him in class and at school related social events, and we got on well. But I was not going to take one of those giant steps in my teenage life - I was planning, in my own round about way, to ask him out!

The Law of Attraction lists 22 different levels of emotions. The number one grouping is joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love and appreciation.  And who doesn't want all of that?  The bottom grouping includes fear, grief, depression, despair and powerlessness.  There were 21 steps between my feelings of fear and powerlessness, and what I thought I would attain by having this boy as my new boyfriends - joy, love, appreciation.  So what I was scared of was the powerlessness of asking and the fear of being turned down. I didn't know that at the time, as I hadn't heard about the Law of Attraction and how to classify emotions.

The outcome?  We talked for about two hours, resolved the spiny ant eater homework question, and became an item for a couple of years.  Did I achieve my level 1 emotional level with him? I definitely did not.  I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted in life, so he helped with the knowledge, but as that was all 30 years ago, it has been a long learning curve. 

What I was scared of was what he would think of me, and getting a rejection.  There are certain situations that still create those same emotion in me - usually including a telephone and asking a question to which I could be turned down.  My job from hell would be outgoing sales calls.

What scares you?

If you would like to know more about the Law of Attraction, the first book that I read about it was Ask and it is Given by Ester & Jerry Hicks.  A small selection of interesting books is included below for you